Imagine the next time you join a discussion about Dyeing polyester fabrics. When you start sharing the fascinating Dyeing polyester fabric facts below, your friends will be absolutely amazed.
You can see that there's practical value in learning more about Dyeing polyester fabric. Can you think of ways to apply what's been covered so far?
Immersion dyeing for polyester is one of the most difficult forms of dyeing possible. Dyeing polyester requires extremely high heat, and does not always work successfully.Dye does not penetrate polyester fibers enough to get good colors. The colors must be included in the chemical mixture that is eventually spun into thread.
Textile printing using wide-format printers is becoming more and more viable as a business these days. The demand for textile prints for outdoor signage and banner advertisements, to say the least, is growing because of the many advantages consumers perceive that polyester, cotton and more natural fabrics have over paper and vinyl as printing mediums.
When we speak of textile printing, we do not just mean a single process by which printouts are created on fabrics. There are at least three techniques used in creating printouts on fabric, and each technique has advantages and disadvantages over the others.Dyeing polyester is possible at home and requires using the immersion process. It can take some time, patience and careful skills. The key is to make sure the water is as heated as it needs to be and that you are using the most sufficient products in order to dye the fabric. If you are a beginner with dyeing fabric, it is best to start with cotton first and then work your way up to polyester.
Sometimes it's tough to sort out all the details related to this subject, but I'm positive you'll have no trouble making sense of the information presented above.
Kids' Sunglasses Are Perfect for Art Fair Vendors
Do you find that you spend a lot of your summer days, packing up some of your wares and setting up temporary shop at art fairs and street fairs all over the state? If the answer to that question is yes, one of the things you might want to think about doing is adding one or two sunglass displays to your booth. You'll be surprised by how popular the displays are. They can turn into a lucrative source of income.
Don't make the mistake of only trying to sell designer eyewear while you are at the street fair. In fact, the type of glasses that you should load your display with is kids' sunglasses, these are the most likely to turn into your big seller.
The reason you shouldn't get too excited about adult sunglasses in the street sale and art fair situation is because most of your grown up customers are already going to have their sunglasses. In fact, most will be wearing their glasses when there are perusing your wares. The only way the adults are going to be purchasing sunglasses from you is if the pair they have breaks, or if you happen to have a pair that they really like the looks of.
Kids are different. Kids tend to be hard on their stuff. It is not at all unusual for a child to do something while they are at this function that will cause their sunglasses to break. The even more likely scenario is that they are going to set the sunglasses they came with down, and have no idea where to even start looking for them. Their parents will have no choice but to buy a pair of kids' sunglasses from you to replace the lost pair. They might even buy two pairs of kids' sunglasses to that they have an extra set on hand if they need it.
Kids usually aren't nearly as excited about outdoor art fairs as their parents are. Most of the vendors are going to be marketing crafts and products that your child just won't care about. Just because the child doesn't like any of the items that are being sold at the art fair doesn't mean that they aren't going to be begging their parents to buy them something. Odds are pretty good that the kids' sunglasses you are selling will be just the thing the parent's need to keep their little ones pacified.
The best way to stock your displays with kids' sunglasses is to buy wholesale and in bulk. Doing this will cut down on the cost of the order and your will be able to pass these savings on to your customers which will increase the likelihood of a sale.
Honesty and Integrity - What Does This Mean to You?
Honesty and Integrity go hand-in-hand, but in today's world, it seems that people have grown so lax that both of these traits have flown out of the window. In fact, if you ask the majority of today's youth to give you the truest definition of honesty and integrity, they may be able to tell you that being honest means telling the truth, but they probably won't be able to tell you anymore than that.
Although most people understand what honesty is - telling the truth - do you understand what telling the truth entails? For example, yes it is wrong to lie, but isn't it also wrong not to tell the whole truth, or the whole story so to speak? Many people believe that withholding portions of the truth is the same as lying, and if you are doing this, you are not practicing honesty.
But, again, if you ask today's youth about integrity, most won't have a clue what you are talking about. This is a word that they know how to spell. They have some small idea of what it pertains to, but they have no real grasp on what it means to have integrity, along with honesty. If you have integrity, it means that you live your life in a moral and ethical way. Honesty covers lying, but integrity seemingly covers everything else in life.
Once we grow up, and are forced to face reality, we learn that the world can be a cold, hard, cruel place. As we work our way through life, often we lose site of our own values. We are trying to get the bills paid, get the kids educated, taking care of elderly parents, trying to hold our marriage together, and trying to live to see our own retirement years and grandchildren. With all of this going on - seemingly all of the time - it isn't hard to lose sight of our values, which in turn affects our honesty and integrity, even if we never intended for that to happen.
Before you can live your life with honesty and integrity, you first need to have a good sense of who you are, and what you stand for in life. We all have strong feelings concerning certain issues, such as abortion, firearms, and things of this nature. But as big as these issues are, these are the easy ones. Here, you are either on one side of the fence, or the other.
But in the small day-to-day things, where do you stand in terms of your values. For example, is your honesty and integrity so great that if you ran a red light, you would pull over the next policeman that you saw and insist that he give you a ticket? The chances are good that you won't. But if the cashier at the lunch counter gives you too much change, the second you realize it, are you going to give that extra money back? Hopefully your honesty and integrity would come into play, and you would do everything in your power to get that money back to that cashier.
In order to live a life based on honesty and integrity, you must know who you are and what you stand for, and you must also police yourself on a daily basis, ensuring that you aren't doing anything that conflict's with your own values or moral code.
Although most people understand what honesty is - telling the truth - do you understand what telling the truth entails? For example, yes it is wrong to lie, but isn't it also wrong not to tell the whole truth, or the whole story so to speak? Many people believe that withholding portions of the truth is the same as lying, and if you are doing this, you are not practicing honesty.
But, again, if you ask today's youth about integrity, most won't have a clue what you are talking about. This is a word that they know how to spell. They have some small idea of what it pertains to, but they have no real grasp on what it means to have integrity, along with honesty. If you have integrity, it means that you live your life in a moral and ethical way. Honesty covers lying, but integrity seemingly covers everything else in life.
Once we grow up, and are forced to face reality, we learn that the world can be a cold, hard, cruel place. As we work our way through life, often we lose site of our own values. We are trying to get the bills paid, get the kids educated, taking care of elderly parents, trying to hold our marriage together, and trying to live to see our own retirement years and grandchildren. With all of this going on - seemingly all of the time - it isn't hard to lose sight of our values, which in turn affects our honesty and integrity, even if we never intended for that to happen.
Before you can live your life with honesty and integrity, you first need to have a good sense of who you are, and what you stand for in life. We all have strong feelings concerning certain issues, such as abortion, firearms, and things of this nature. But as big as these issues are, these are the easy ones. Here, you are either on one side of the fence, or the other.
But in the small day-to-day things, where do you stand in terms of your values. For example, is your honesty and integrity so great that if you ran a red light, you would pull over the next policeman that you saw and insist that he give you a ticket? The chances are good that you won't. But if the cashier at the lunch counter gives you too much change, the second you realize it, are you going to give that extra money back? Hopefully your honesty and integrity would come into play, and you would do everything in your power to get that money back to that cashier.
In order to live a life based on honesty and integrity, you must know who you are and what you stand for, and you must also police yourself on a daily basis, ensuring that you aren't doing anything that conflict's with your own values or moral code.
This and other topics that deal with corporate communications, business to customer relationships, and sales training through Collective Vision are just some of the topics discuss.
We help you create your future through Collective Visioning
We help you create your future through Collective Visioning
How to Recession Proof Your Kid Or Teen - Even If You're Bottom-of-the-Barrel Broke
With the state of today's economy, you are not alone if you are looking at your finances with dread. As many of us are concerned with our living expenses, where to cut back becomes a daily concern...
Should we buy cheaper or fewer groceries, school clothes, or cut back on the extracurricular activities our kids really wanted to do? Maybe fewer trips to Grandma's house? You know what I mean, and that's not to mention the many of us who are trying to pair down already paired down budgets.
While some of us are grappling with just getting by, saving for our kid's future seems close to impossible. So how in the world can we increase the odds of being able to offer our kids both a comfortable lifestyle and half way decent savings built up for when they leave home? Experts recommend investing in 529 College savings plans, bonds, and equities. Definitely good advice, but there is an often-overlooked way to help recession proof your kid.
Help them to start their own business.
Help them to start their own business.
I know that it might seem unrealistic to you at first, but I've said it before and I'll say it again, working from home is not just for stay at home parents, telecommuting professionals, or internet gurus anymore! Consider Alexa Kitchen of Massachusetts who was already on the road to success as a cartoonist by the time she was 5, or Alexandra McDaniel who started Kids Roar a year ago at age 8 (already gaining attention from the media).
More examples of successful businesses founded by kids and teens include Jason O'Neil and his pencil bugs, Anshul Samar and his innovative Elementeo chemistry game, and we can't leave out Farrah Gray and Ashley Qualls who were self-made millionaires by the ages of 14 and 17...There are so many I could go on and on.
As you can see from these examples, it is completely doable... Kids can indeed create a home business and it is being done over and over again by kids of all ages, backgrounds, and abilities. The biggest difference between these kids and a kid who has yet to start a business is that these kids took a chance on their ideas, took action, and never looked back.
Your kid or teen could be next...In fact, there is a good chance that they have already shown you their entrepreneur spirit by asking you to help him or her start a club, drink stand, or some other means by which they could earn extra money.
Don't ignore it!
Don't ignore it!
Even if your finances are a mess...You can still help increase the odds of your kid or teen having a secure future. In the event they do not make oodles of money, they will still have acquired some business building knowledge and a better understanding of things like problem solving, math, writing and communication skills.
Another side effect of the business-building process is a deeper internalization of his or her sense of responsibility, perseverance, confidence, and a good work ethic...Not bad at all since many experts agree that these are necessary traits to truly be successful in life. Furthermore, you can use the act of helping your kid or teen to build a home business as a way to keep the lines of communication open, enabling you to maintain a strong bond of trust and mutual respect between you.
So if things are looking ominous, and you could use an alternative method of recession proofing and increasing your kid or teen's odds of a having a secure future in today's economy, helping him or her to start a business makes perfect sense.
BUNNY BUSINESS! Rabbits For the Table Might Mean Money!
I have been giving some thought, off and on over the past few months, to raising rabbits for fun and profit! There are plenty of rabbits in pet stores but these are for the pleasure of the kids who badger their parents into buying them for them, mainly because they are so cute. Hamsters and Guinea Pigs and even, in this rodent infested country, mice are also popular pets of late. They do a rather piquant guinea pig in Peru but a bit fiddly for my taste. Give me a rabbit any day.
Of course part of the problem is that rabbits are an introduced species and have never featured on the menu of many restaurants. If they weren't already here I would never suggest introducing the little pests, but seeing as how someone beat me to it, why not go commercial?
Rabbits are high in protein, 20% in fact, compared to only 17% in chicken and 19% in pork with beef coming in higher at 22%. What makes bunnies better business is that they are so much easier to breed and raise, even more so than chickens. Chickens will often die on you in large numbers during the rainy winter season, pigs take a fair amount of space and work and cows need grass which can be in short supply for the hobby farmer on a small size property. Rabbits however, need relatively little space and can be tended twice a day and then left to their own devices.
If you buy a buck and two does to start with, make sure you give them each their own cage and run. Remember they are burrowing animals so don't leave them with access to the ground unless the floor of the cage and run is made of wire. They'll burrow under a fence and be off in no time! Make sure they have a closed in, burrow like area with torn up newspaper as a carpet out of the sun. A separate box within the run or cage will suffice.
Remember, when the doe comes into season, she'll become restless and agitated, even go off her feed. Her external genitalia will enlarge and become inflamed. Get her to the buck! Don't take the buck to her or she might kill him. Does will also eat their young if you handle them too soon after birth, so leave them well alone for a few days! These gentle, fluffy creatures can be vicious and lethal to each other, good thing they don't grow too big!
Feeding them vegetable matter, table scraps (vegetable only) and even banana peels, melons and bread will keep them happy but always give them plenty of clean water. You can feed them in the morning and again at night, a good job for the kids.
There really isn't that much more to it, there are plenty of web sites that give detailed advice on raising rabbits. A doe will have maybe 3 or 4 litters a year with up to 10 kittens per litter. The gestation period for a rabbit is about a month, less (28 days or so) for a younger doe. After two months the kittens are weaned and you can breed the doe again. Five months from birth the rabbits are ready to sell. So from two does and one buck, in two months you can have up to 20 more rabbits. If half of these are does, seven months later you can have another 200 rabbits, plus by then the first two does will have had another litter. In seven months from then, the busy (and lucky buck) can make another 200 rabbits from the first batch, plus 40 more from the original does, plus another 200 from the second generation (or is that the third), plus.....oh dear, I lost count!
If the average rabbit dresses out at even 500g, then by only killing the bucks and breeding the does, you could easily be selling off hundreds of carcasses a month. If you opened a diner and sold rabbit stew and other meals to get the public into buying the meat, you would have a secondary business as well as an outlet for your production while the market developed the taste for rabbit.
How much to charge? Up to you, as they say. If you can get the vegetable scraps cheaply enough why not go for parity with chicken? If you made $2 a rabbit, then selling two hundred a month would net $400. On top of that you have the skins. There starts a third business, tanning hides or making fur felt for hats! All the information you need is on the Net and pet stores selling rabbits are in all the larger towns. What's stopping you?
Do You Make These Mistakes, When Disciplining Your Child?
Parenting is never easy. Everyone who has kids can tell you that. Children's world is care free without any boundaries. So telling them, that they cannot do something usually ends up in you shouting or forcing them to listen to you.
There are some common mistakes we make as parents when trying to discipline our children. The following points will discuss this in further detail.
There are some common mistakes we make as parents when trying to discipline our children. The following points will discuss this in further detail.
- Consequences - How many times do you say to your child, "If you don't stop doing this, I will do that? You will probably end up saying the same thing over and over, and your child will ignore you. Kids are smarter than we think, they know when you are just bluffing. Instead tell your child once, if you don't stop I will give you a time out. Then take action straight away. Your child will realize you mean business and think twice before not listening to you next time.
- Don't Back Down - If you want to discipline your child, then giving in to their every demand is literally suicidal. From a very young age, kids learn to get what they want. Of course as a parent you want to be reasonable, but that does not mean giving in to everything they demand. I used to make the mistake of buying toys nearly every time my son and I went shopping. So as you can imagine it was difficult for my son to accept going out without buying toys. Eventually, I got him to understand that he already has enough toys and he should look after what he has.
- Speak With The Same Voice - Is your husband or wife a total pushover? Can your kids get anything they want because your partner is a big softy? I have spoken to parents who have a hard time disciplining their kids because their partner always gives in. Both parent need to understand that a child is usually looking for ways to get what they want, and if they know one of you is an easy target, they will play up every time. As parents you are undermining one another and causing more problems for yourself in future.
- Bribe Too Often - If you find yourself bribing your little one to behave in a certain way too often, that's not good. Instead try to get your child to learn what they are doing is wrong, give examples of other children behaving well, and try to make them understand that nobody will like them for doing bad. By doing this, you are helping your child develop their conscience.
The Divide Between MBA Business Consultants and Us Real Entrepreneurs Debated
Look, just between you and I, sometimes I am irked by MBA kids right out of school who instantly become consultants and assume they know everything about business - marketing, customer service, management, finance, employee motivation, and well, basically WINNING in the free-market. You see, I am a real entrepreneur, and yes, I chose to leave school to run my company, I had no choice, I was losing money sitting in class - it made absolutely no sense to me.
After I retired before my 40th Birthday, I thought back on the decisions and choices I'd made, some was lucky timing, but mostly it was taking advantage of opportunities as they appeared. In any case, a consulting acquaintance of mind feels the opposite way on things and he is actively engaged in consulting these days. As he goes, I admit he is gaining lots of business experience. In defense of business schools he states;
"Business schools and leaders across the world owe a huge portion of their influence and their growth to him."
Yes, I understand all that, but, I couldn't let this guy off the hook, so I hit him with a little entrepreneurial "in-your-face" attitude and stated; "Do you have any clue how silly that sounds to an entrepreneur? Business Schools? Ha ha ha. Okay, if that's your thing? But entrepreneurs can hire the business graduates to set things up."
You see, an MBA doesn't make someone an innovator, thinker, or great leader, in fact, all those years of brain washing can take a heavy toll on the creative mind. Most of these kids they graduate couldn't market their way out of a paper bag and some of the business decisions they make, unbelievable how anyone could do something that stupid, I mean totally clueless stuff.
These business plans these kids come up with suck, their strategies are flawed, they can't compete in the real world, and then they have to pay off all those student loans because these business professors command such high salaries and charge $250 for a Text-Book because they have a Monopoly - Guess What? Any business can make money if it has a monopoly - that doesn't make their leaders great entrepreneurs, innovators, thinkers, or brilliant in business.
It only proves Adam Smith was right about the problems in Capitalism with incestuous relationships with government and business. But the King and the East India Tea Company showed us that, not any surprise there. My MBA acquaintance also holds Peter Drucker in the highest esteem, but I told him; Drucker's methods of setting up a business bureaucracy that actually works and can be duplicated as a system of management is okay, but most of the modern corporations today are fairly wasteful, inefficient, and rely on barriers to entry and government defensive lines to block so they can get down the field.
And still, there is the human element, look at how so many corporate boards hi-jack public companies, over pay themselves when their performance sucks. Much of all that also has to do with Drucker, and Warren's "buffet of essays" essentially shows the counter arguments for the mistakes made in corporations. I think Collins "Built to Last" - "From Good to Great" is relevant too, but I see flaws in all of this stuff really. Yes, mostly good granted but, lots of little mistakes, or less-than-BMPs as applied to the real world, nothing that I'd want to write home about.
Care to debate with me on this? I mean care to have a dialogue with a real entrepreneur? Surely, you can handle it right? Fine you are welcome to shoot me an email. Let's talk. Please consider all this.
After I retired before my 40th Birthday, I thought back on the decisions and choices I'd made, some was lucky timing, but mostly it was taking advantage of opportunities as they appeared. In any case, a consulting acquaintance of mind feels the opposite way on things and he is actively engaged in consulting these days. As he goes, I admit he is gaining lots of business experience. In defense of business schools he states;
"Business schools and leaders across the world owe a huge portion of their influence and their growth to him."
Yes, I understand all that, but, I couldn't let this guy off the hook, so I hit him with a little entrepreneurial "in-your-face" attitude and stated; "Do you have any clue how silly that sounds to an entrepreneur? Business Schools? Ha ha ha. Okay, if that's your thing? But entrepreneurs can hire the business graduates to set things up."
You see, an MBA doesn't make someone an innovator, thinker, or great leader, in fact, all those years of brain washing can take a heavy toll on the creative mind. Most of these kids they graduate couldn't market their way out of a paper bag and some of the business decisions they make, unbelievable how anyone could do something that stupid, I mean totally clueless stuff.
These business plans these kids come up with suck, their strategies are flawed, they can't compete in the real world, and then they have to pay off all those student loans because these business professors command such high salaries and charge $250 for a Text-Book because they have a Monopoly - Guess What? Any business can make money if it has a monopoly - that doesn't make their leaders great entrepreneurs, innovators, thinkers, or brilliant in business.
It only proves Adam Smith was right about the problems in Capitalism with incestuous relationships with government and business. But the King and the East India Tea Company showed us that, not any surprise there. My MBA acquaintance also holds Peter Drucker in the highest esteem, but I told him; Drucker's methods of setting up a business bureaucracy that actually works and can be duplicated as a system of management is okay, but most of the modern corporations today are fairly wasteful, inefficient, and rely on barriers to entry and government defensive lines to block so they can get down the field.
And still, there is the human element, look at how so many corporate boards hi-jack public companies, over pay themselves when their performance sucks. Much of all that also has to do with Drucker, and Warren's "buffet of essays" essentially shows the counter arguments for the mistakes made in corporations. I think Collins "Built to Last" - "From Good to Great" is relevant too, but I see flaws in all of this stuff really. Yes, mostly good granted but, lots of little mistakes, or less-than-BMPs as applied to the real world, nothing that I'd want to write home about.
Care to debate with me on this? I mean care to have a dialogue with a real entrepreneur? Surely, you can handle it right? Fine you are welcome to shoot me an email. Let's talk. Please consider all this.
How to Raise Kids - Child Safety in a Media Driven Society
"Give an inch and they take a mile!" We've all heard this before and if the daily actions of the many media moguls are any indication, America has lost much more than a mile. As advertisers become more aggressive in chasing down a dollar, the envelope gets ever closer to the edge. From barely there underwear to contraceptive commercials on television, to the graphically violent video games, it is just next to impossible to protect kids from these images. It makes you wonder how to raise kids to become well-adjusted without cutting them off from real life!
Even the many safe guards that are cropping up can only do so much. What can be done about our kids' friends whose parents may have a more "laid back" or even neglectful approach to parenting? No one wants to be policed 24 hours a day and who has time to do it? The last thing you want to do is become an overbearing parent. The point of parenting anyway is to provide our kids with the knowledge and guidance to make good decisions on their own.
It looks as though our society has just given way too many inches and now those inches have become miles. It will be difficult to get it back, but many family advocates have made steps in the right direction. We have to let advertisers and other consumer driven businesses know that these controversial things are not in the best interests of our youth. They are certainly no help as we struggle to understand how to raise kids.
Taking Action!
One of the most important lessons we can teach kids is to back up our words with definitive actions. This will demonstrate that we mean business in more ways that one. While it's unfortunate that it would come to this end, it really boils down to consumers being more proactive on a daily basis rather than having to take massive action after pulling our heads out of the sand a year or two down the line. I will readily shoulder my share of the blame. I knew when I raised an eyebrow at the Karmal Sutra ice cream a while back that I should have put it back on the shelf and picked up cookies and cream. It was my complacency that was part of the problem. Such complacency in large numbers means large profits for vendors, but not so great outcomes for parents wanting to do the right thing.
In essence, by buying that questionable product, I was condoning their questionable judgment. Who could really blame them when they simply wanted to make even more money and became even more aggressive in their tactics? The last thing we want to do is to rob kids of a happy childhood by eliminating everything that's fun.
If we proactively work at it on a daily basis, we can provide an environment that is not only safe and appropriate, but also fun and educational. Technology has afforded us some safeguards that can be our eyes when we can't be around to protect our kids.
Even the many safe guards that are cropping up can only do so much. What can be done about our kids' friends whose parents may have a more "laid back" or even neglectful approach to parenting? No one wants to be policed 24 hours a day and who has time to do it? The last thing you want to do is become an overbearing parent. The point of parenting anyway is to provide our kids with the knowledge and guidance to make good decisions on their own.
It looks as though our society has just given way too many inches and now those inches have become miles. It will be difficult to get it back, but many family advocates have made steps in the right direction. We have to let advertisers and other consumer driven businesses know that these controversial things are not in the best interests of our youth. They are certainly no help as we struggle to understand how to raise kids.
Taking Action!
One of the most important lessons we can teach kids is to back up our words with definitive actions. This will demonstrate that we mean business in more ways that one. While it's unfortunate that it would come to this end, it really boils down to consumers being more proactive on a daily basis rather than having to take massive action after pulling our heads out of the sand a year or two down the line. I will readily shoulder my share of the blame. I knew when I raised an eyebrow at the Karmal Sutra ice cream a while back that I should have put it back on the shelf and picked up cookies and cream. It was my complacency that was part of the problem. Such complacency in large numbers means large profits for vendors, but not so great outcomes for parents wanting to do the right thing.
In essence, by buying that questionable product, I was condoning their questionable judgment. Who could really blame them when they simply wanted to make even more money and became even more aggressive in their tactics? The last thing we want to do is to rob kids of a happy childhood by eliminating everything that's fun.
If we proactively work at it on a daily basis, we can provide an environment that is not only safe and appropriate, but also fun and educational. Technology has afforded us some safeguards that can be our eyes when we can't be around to protect our kids.
Step-Family Advice - Ten Surefire Ways to Ensure That Your Blended Family Does Not Gel!
Congratulations! After years of emotional anguish and heartache, you have endured the breakup of your marriage, suffered the humiliations and disappointments of dating and have had the good fortune to find the person of your dreams. You have made the complicated decision to remarry and are about to embark on the blissful path of blending two families together.
I know. You and your spouse envision a new life that will rival the Brady Bunch, and you have all the answers. I am not saying that I doubt your capabilities for even a second. But if you will indulge me for a brief instance, I'd like to share ten surefire ways that will absolutely guarantee that your blended family will not jell!
1. You have found the person of your dreams. You want to shout out your good fortune for all the world to hear! Insist that your children be equally joyful. Remind them regularly how lucky they are that they have a new step-family. After all, two families are better than one, right?
2. Immediately immerse both families in joint activities. Tell them that it's not a good idea for the children to have any alone time with their own parent because it will delay their adjustment to the blended family. Tell them it's ridiculous if they have any complaints about having to include these people in their lives. After all, you made the choice to get married and you know what's best for them. Insist they will get used to this.
3. It's obvious when you blend two sets of very different people that they will often have two very different ways of doing things and two very different points of view. While it's insensitive to make fun of the others, you and yours can certainly set the record straight that your way is superior.
4. It is very likely that all the kids got away with murder while their parents were preoccupied with their divorces and building their social lives. Now is the time to enforce rigid, heavy duty rules and demands. It is okay for you to be the disciplinarian of your new step-children. Loudly show them who is boss from the get-go. These kids have to know you mean business. If they throw out the tired line that you are not their parent, they should be chastised and grounded.
5. Make it clear that their new step-parent has many attributes far superior to your ex-spouse. Although you know better than to blatantly voice complaints about your ex, you and your beloved should be able to roll your eyes and exchange knowing looks to get the message across to the children that their other parent is a loser.
6. Speaking of your ex, of course you can expect him/her to be graciously thrilled for your happiness. It's only right, then, to expect them to accommodate their lives and schedules to make your new life easier. If you change plans at the last minute or have to cancel completely, heck, now is the time for them to be understanding and cooperative. After all, this is a special time for you.
7. Your children undoubtedly witnessed you and your ex at a very unhappy time in your lives. Now is the time to show them the role model of a loving couple. Of course, sordidly provocative behavior is totally out of line, but what's the harm of showing the kids how loving and affectionate you are, with lingering kisses and playful pats on the rump?
8. Insist that both sets of children share their personal belongings. If you are to be a family, it's selfish not to graciously offer all that you have. If the visiting children riffle through their things a bit, or even break a possession or two, it's offensive to complain. These things happen.
9. It is not necessary for the visiting kids to have their own space, is it? After all, they are only with you a handful of days each month. They won't mind if you move the clutter out of that extra room in the basement or by the garage whenever they come to stay. Whoever said that each child should have his own personal space doesn't know what they are talking about. The visiting kids won't mind living out of a suitcase or piling their belongings on a shelf. It's only for a few days, right?
10. Regularly compare each set of children to each other, and compete with your new spouse about which set of children are superior. This strategy has been designed to motivate everyone to be their best possible selves. Whoever said that this philosophy leads to hostility among the "steps" clearly does not know anything about human behavior.
It takes an enormous amount of empathy, compassion and care to meet the needs and sensitivities of children at this difficult time. A huge dose of patience and a sense of humor helps as well. I know that you recognize that following even one of the above could be a disaster! The purpose of the above is to poke fun at the challenges we all go through as step-parents and to highlight some of the issues that come up that cause tremendous stress and get in the way of our attempts to blend two very different sets of people.
I know. You and your spouse envision a new life that will rival the Brady Bunch, and you have all the answers. I am not saying that I doubt your capabilities for even a second. But if you will indulge me for a brief instance, I'd like to share ten surefire ways that will absolutely guarantee that your blended family will not jell!
1. You have found the person of your dreams. You want to shout out your good fortune for all the world to hear! Insist that your children be equally joyful. Remind them regularly how lucky they are that they have a new step-family. After all, two families are better than one, right?
2. Immediately immerse both families in joint activities. Tell them that it's not a good idea for the children to have any alone time with their own parent because it will delay their adjustment to the blended family. Tell them it's ridiculous if they have any complaints about having to include these people in their lives. After all, you made the choice to get married and you know what's best for them. Insist they will get used to this.
3. It's obvious when you blend two sets of very different people that they will often have two very different ways of doing things and two very different points of view. While it's insensitive to make fun of the others, you and yours can certainly set the record straight that your way is superior.
4. It is very likely that all the kids got away with murder while their parents were preoccupied with their divorces and building their social lives. Now is the time to enforce rigid, heavy duty rules and demands. It is okay for you to be the disciplinarian of your new step-children. Loudly show them who is boss from the get-go. These kids have to know you mean business. If they throw out the tired line that you are not their parent, they should be chastised and grounded.
5. Make it clear that their new step-parent has many attributes far superior to your ex-spouse. Although you know better than to blatantly voice complaints about your ex, you and your beloved should be able to roll your eyes and exchange knowing looks to get the message across to the children that their other parent is a loser.
6. Speaking of your ex, of course you can expect him/her to be graciously thrilled for your happiness. It's only right, then, to expect them to accommodate their lives and schedules to make your new life easier. If you change plans at the last minute or have to cancel completely, heck, now is the time for them to be understanding and cooperative. After all, this is a special time for you.
7. Your children undoubtedly witnessed you and your ex at a very unhappy time in your lives. Now is the time to show them the role model of a loving couple. Of course, sordidly provocative behavior is totally out of line, but what's the harm of showing the kids how loving and affectionate you are, with lingering kisses and playful pats on the rump?
8. Insist that both sets of children share their personal belongings. If you are to be a family, it's selfish not to graciously offer all that you have. If the visiting children riffle through their things a bit, or even break a possession or two, it's offensive to complain. These things happen.
9. It is not necessary for the visiting kids to have their own space, is it? After all, they are only with you a handful of days each month. They won't mind if you move the clutter out of that extra room in the basement or by the garage whenever they come to stay. Whoever said that each child should have his own personal space doesn't know what they are talking about. The visiting kids won't mind living out of a suitcase or piling their belongings on a shelf. It's only for a few days, right?
10. Regularly compare each set of children to each other, and compete with your new spouse about which set of children are superior. This strategy has been designed to motivate everyone to be their best possible selves. Whoever said that this philosophy leads to hostility among the "steps" clearly does not know anything about human behavior.
It takes an enormous amount of empathy, compassion and care to meet the needs and sensitivities of children at this difficult time. A huge dose of patience and a sense of humor helps as well. I know that you recognize that following even one of the above could be a disaster! The purpose of the above is to poke fun at the challenges we all go through as step-parents and to highlight some of the issues that come up that cause tremendous stress and get in the way of our attempts to blend two very different sets of people.
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